Five Things I Learned About Love and Life from Having a Crush on Benedict Cumberbatch

86th Annual Academy Awards - ArrivalsOK, I am the first one to admit it: I am too old to have a celebrity crush. The last time it was cute or acceptable for me to fangirl over a movie star was back in the late 1980s. Since then I’ve been busy with other stuff in life — finishing school, growing up, finding a career, falling in love, having a family. No time for silly crushes here.

But then last spring something happened. I guess a bunch of things happened, none of them pleasant: several deaths in my family and circle of friends, a move to a new city, tensions with my parents, and a nagging feeling that I was somehow shutting down and allowing life to pass me by.

I needed an escape. Sure, there was yoga, and chocolate, and wine, and plenty of friends and family around me for support. But my brain wanted to focus on something — or somebody — that had nothing to do with what was going on in my life. And so I spent many, many sleepless nights in the company of Benedict Cumberbatch, with his handsome, talented face glowing on my iPad screen in the darkness of my bedroom. Trust me, there is no better company at 3 a.m. when your mind is full of scary grown-up stuff.

 

Head over to HuffPost to read the full article!

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8 thoughts on “Five Things I Learned About Love and Life from Having a Crush on Benedict Cumberbatch”

  1. Hey, I came across this post as someone had shared it on Facebook. After reading it, I read some of your other posts. May I just say that your writing is Wonderful. It has a soul that flutters like a bird just out of a cage. Writing is my passion as well, so I get what it is like to serve a piece of your heart on a plate. And you just do it perfectly :)

  2. Love this article. It’s the Cumberbatch effect! Two months ago I happened to see an episode of Sherlock, and everything changed. I have a wonderful adult crush, but it has inspired me in many ways:

    1) I’m writing again (signed up to writing course, haven’t written since I became a responsible adult)
    2) I’m reading more (a forgotten passion)
    3) Attending the theatre more (not easy in a rural area)
    4) Have tickets to Hay literary festival
    5) Reminded me that I am a woman! (lost two stone in weight,growing hair,nails etc…bought girly things including Shalimar perfume!)

    I think his intelligence as well as his acting ability and obviously his looks have inspired me to remember the girl I used to be and the woman I want to be.

    Many would say this is shallow or weird, however I struggle to see what is wrong with a little bit of escapism. As long as everyone is happy and it leads to positive results, I’m all for being shallow.

  3. Hi, Thanks for the “crush” article. What you say is so true. In my Dragonairon books, one of my main themes is “everything happens for a reason” … much like your elevator friend story and being an adult and crushing on someone just because you are human and you can! I loved it. Thanks for making having a crush not wrong, but a way to enhance the person you are… hey, it got you to get up and go, and do the writing you obviously enjoy and are very good at. :)

  4. Oh, GIRL! This article resonates so deeply with me and after reading it (and Joanne’s comment above), I felt like at last I’ve found “my people!” I haven’t felt this kind of kinship since catapulting into the Cumberverse (!), so I sorta feel like Gonzo in the Muppets when he discovers he isn’t the only one after all. We’re not the screaming fangirls who camp out for hours to see him attend a premiere – although I think I might be persuaded to do that if I was with someone like you (giggling at the absurdity all the while?!). But we’ve found ourselves affected by him in genuinely positive ways, which has come as a great surprise to me anyway….

    Like Joanne above, since crushing on Benedict I have started reading more and have taken a more active interest in the theater, history & current events (van Gogh, Turing, Assange). Like you, I have been motivated to work on my writing and have felt even more connected to my husband of 15 years, which has possibly been the biggest and best surprise! This is what you wrote that made me stop in my tracks and decide that I needed to write to you: “Strangely, having a crush on someone so clearly unattainable and distant makes you really appreciate the person snoring next to you in bed.” Amen, sister! As it turns out, I’m married to a funny, brilliant, devoted, clever guy who actually looks a bit like Benedict! I hadn’t forgotten his great qualities exactly, but it had been a long time since I had seen him as I had when we first fell in love, which I have again since that fateful day in March when I accidentally recorded an episode of “Sherlock” instead of “Mr. Selfridge!”

    I’m so happy to have found your blog and I’m excited to read all of your work. Thank you for putting into words what I haven’t been able to and for lending my madness some credibility (you’re on Huffington Post! You and what you feel are CREDIBLE!). Maybe we need to start our own version of the Cumber Collective without all the screaming….

    1. Oh, wow, thanks so much for your lovely comment! I feel so lucky for meeting all of these incredible women because of this article. I almost didn’t publish it because I thought it would make me seem crazy….But apparently I am not crazy and not alone! I am so glad you enjoyed it and I think we should totally do the screaming at a premiere thing once, just so we can say we did it — and then roll our eyes and laugh at the insanity. :)

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